Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The best revenge is premature balding
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
