I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
