I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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