Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
