I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
