True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
