I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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