your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Where is the hickey?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She bit a glass in half.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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