She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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