fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
