God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
