just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
