I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
