Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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