i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
