Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
