only you would photoshop your dick
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
