Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
