This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ugly people sure do ruin things
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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