kristin has been a bad kristin
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
