We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
