the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
