I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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