so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What a dumb baby whore.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
