ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
too bad you live with your parents still
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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