Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
