Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
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