This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
