I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So much rum. So many feels.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize