just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think people are normalizing furries
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
