Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
