i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
