Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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