should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
