i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
