Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
