I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize