Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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