She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
