that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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