is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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