There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
