Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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