at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
