I CAN MOONWALK!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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