marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
