Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
