I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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