My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
