I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
