Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
