its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my poor anus
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
