i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
