i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
